Sometimes You Win and Sometimes You Learn.

I don't really know where to start here but I thought it would be nice to have my own story with all of the correct facts. I appreciate the Universe, KUTV, FOX13 and Dr. Phil for helping us to accomplish our goals but they didn't have 8 months to tell every detail of the story which left room for peoples' interpretations of how I felt or what I did during all of this.
So here it is...I'm not here to talk crap on Kayla or oust anybody, I just want to lay all of the facts out. Let's start from the top:

Hunter Nicholas Anderson

October 31, 2013

This day was SUCH a bad day. I vividly remember when and where I was when I got the first text from that random number. I was driving up to the University of Utah hospital to see my friend, Mickey, who had gotten in a really bad accident. The next month was full of these trips up to the hospital but this day was one I'll never forget.
The random number had a Texas area code and the text read: "Hey is this Hilary?"
I had no idea who it was but since they knew who I was, I responded and asked: "Who is this?". "Nicholas Hyrum Young" was the response I got. He said he met me at a party and got my number. This was really confusing to me because I'm one of those people that remembers everyone I meet. So I was super confused and caught off guard when he said he had gotten my number from someone at that party. We texted a little bit more and then stopped (I had a few other things on my mind that day).

November 15th (ish), 2013

I don't remember exactly what day it was but it was a couple weeks after that day that we talked that the number had texted me again. I honestly didn't remember the conversation we had or even what this person's name was. So when I got the text this day, I said: "Sorry but I have no idea who this is..." and he responded: "This is Hunter". I remembered then that he had told me that his name was Nicholas (mostly because my middle name is Nicole and I was excited that his name was similar) and called him out on it. He told me that his name was actually "Nicholas Hunter Anderson" and said he was just joking about the Nicholas Hyrum Young thing. I thought it was stupid but mostly just shrugged it off. Little did I know that it wasn't a joke...the person behind the phone just couldn't keep straight what name they had given which woman.

After this day we just kept talking. A LOT was going on the month of November of 2013 and it was nice to talk to a third party that had no idea what was going on and was a relief from the unfortunate events that were taking place in real life. We would just text about our days...just casual things. I got to know a lot about Hunter...let me list off some of those facts:

• He went to the University of Texas at Austin before he left on his mission in July 2011.
• He went to the University of Utah and was studying political science.
• He worked as a TA in the math department teaching Calculus
• He currently lived in Sandy with his grandparents.
• He was from New Orleans, LA and LOVED the Saints. Like was obsessed
• He was 22 years old and had just gotten back from a mission to South Africa.
• He had dreams of going to law school when he finished his undergrad...maybe even at BYU!
• He had 3 sisters, 2 older and 1 younger:
• The two older sisters were married with kids. I don't remember their names but they were something very out of the ordinary.
• The younger sister was named Caroline and she went to BYU. She even lived at The Village which was literally a block away from where I lived at the time.

He told me all of these things about himself and in return, I told him everything about myself. He was great to talk to and I really enjoyed getting to know him.

November 26th, 2013

I'm pretty sure that this is the day that Hunter and I talked on the phone. I remember being so excited when I heard his voice because he had a southern accent and everyone who knows me, knows how I feel about that. Other than the accent though, he sounded like any normal guy. We talked for a little while and I was pleasantly surprised to find out that our phone conversations flowed just as smoothly as our texting did. For the few days while I was on Thanksgiving break, we talked A LOT on the phone. He talked to me, my sister and my grandma. He would call me every night to talk about our days and it was so nice to have someone that genuinely cared and wanted to listen and offer advice. We started to grow even closer.

November 27th, 2013

My sister was super skeptical about him. She told him on the phone that she thought he was a catfish. We did some fishing for information about him to see if we could find anything. We even Google reverse image searched the pictures he had sent me. Nothing came back except this picture:

Hunter and his friend at a Tailgate at UT Austin

It pulled up a University of Texas tailgate from October 2011 I believe. The tailgate made sense since he had told me that he attended UT Austin before the mish but what didn't make sense was that he was supposedly on a mission during the time of that tailgate, October 2011. I confronted him about it but he told me that they must have just posted it late. He was upset that I didn't believe who he was.

Let me get something straight. I didn't talk to this guy because I was so needy and lonely and whatever else would make you talk to someone you had never met. I continued to talk to him because he was PERSISTENT. Even when I did block his number, he continued to call. From blocked or different phone numbers. And I would eventually just say "Fine, I forgive you." And we would pick up from where we left off. I knew he was sketchy but he would not give it up.

He continued to call and text when we went back to school but we both had finals and then winter break where we both went back home so I understood why we hadn't met up yet.

January 9th, 2014

I could understand why we hadn't met up to this point but when my birthday rolled around and he was nowhere to be seen, I didn't really care to hear the excuses anymore. My friend Lindsay had texted Hunter to invite him to my party in Murray, UT that night and since he lived in Sandy (which is super close) he said he would be there. 

I was pretty excited but of course, right before my party started he magically "had to work" and couldn't make it. I thought that was interesting because he was a TA and would have scheduled hours purposefully  during my party so he couldn't attend.

January-April 2014

We continued to talk. We fought all the time but somehow we always managed to be fine. We honestly had a lot in common (Of course he had a lot in common with me, he was making it up on the spot. How do you not form a connection with someone who has so much in common with you and can relate to literally everything?), had really good conversations about the church and he was a great source of advice for family/friend/school problems. He became my best friend. He would talk to my roommates on the phone frequently too and even helped my girl Aubrey ace one of her finals! 

After talking to someone every day and telling them everything that happened and all of your thoughts, it becomes pretty difficult not to love someone.

Here's what I want to get straight with all of the news/media/articles: I was not in love with this person nor did I EVER consider him to be my boyfriend.

Yes, we were close and had a strong relationship but that relationship wasn't that of a significant other. I went on dates, I liked other guys, I had a life so far removed from this person. My world did not revolve around Hunter. Yes, he knew about everything that I did but I didn't hold myself back from life to accommodate him.

He was very jealous and controlling and would manipulate me to think that I was in the wrong for wanting to meet him and hang out with him. It was the strangest thing being in a situation where your mind is being messed with so much. I'll touch on this later...

Meanwhile, during this time period, I received flowers and Edible Arrangements from Hunter. The Edible Arrangement was sent sometime in February and had a "Thinking of You" balloon attached:

My friend Aubrey was determined to find out who Hunter was so she came up with the brilliant idea of finding his sister, Caroline. She lived a block away from us at The Village and we were hoping that we could get some answers from her. So we went over to The Village with a Victoria's Secret bag and the balloon from Hunter and asked the front office if we could have Caroline Anderson's apartment number (we made up some elaborate story about how our friend was trying to ask her on a date. I'm such a bad liar). They searched for her and said that no one with that name lived at The Village. Aubrey asked if Hunter Anderson lived there and they said no as well. They were super sketched out by this point so we left but I confronted Hunter. He said that they wouldn't have his sisters name on file because she had bought her contract from someone. He was incredible at coming up with these things on the spot.

It was just one excuse after another.

Late February 2014

One of the most elaborate excuses he used was that his sister, who was supposed to be having twins, had a miscarriage and one of the twins died. So obviously he was really torn up about this and couldn't meet me for a solid month due to this excuse. I felt super bad for the situation and didn't want to push him while he was going through a hard time so this kept me tied over with this excuse for a while.

Over the next while, he sent me pictures of this sweet baby. There are many many more pictures like these. This was supposedly the twin that survived, Easton:

Baby Easton

(If you know the people in any of these pictures, please let me know. I will take them off of this blog if they wish. I just want to find these people and make them aware that their pictures were being used in this scam.)

Hunter or Hyrum?

April 6th, 2014

Hunter often talked to me about his friends or other people in his life so when he talked to me about his friend Jason and girlfriend Jessica (not her real name, she didn't want to be named), it seemed normal. Apparently Hunter worked with Jason TAing and he and Jessica had been dating for a while. Today he called me in a particularly frustrated manner telling me how annoyed Jason was that Jessica had started dating another guy and how ugly and stupid, etc. this new guy was. It was interesting to hear Hunter so worked up about it all, especially when Jessica wasn't even a girl that he was interested in. I just thought he was a good friend. I talked him down a little bit and then a few hours later, I was sitting next to my sister watching TV when Hunter sent me a picture of Jessica.
It was Jessica with the "new guy" and he asked me what I thought of the new guy. I was WAY more interested in the fact that Hunter had sent me a screenshot! Of someone's Instagram!
I obviously looked up Jessica and found out her name. Meanwhile my sister was still sitting next to me and asked me why I was stalking her co-worker on social media.
CO-WORKER?! I freaked out. And I also told Hunter that my sister worked with Jessica and then he freaked out. He told me not to say anything to her because her and Jason had just broke up and he trusted me not to say anything. Jason was apparently really hurting and Jessica wasn't supposed to know that he was consulting Hunter for all of his problems. I told my sister not to say anything and promised Hunter that nothing would be said.

April 7th, 2014

Thank goodness for little sisters that don't listen to a single thing older sisters say.
Marissa went straight to Jessica the next morning at work and asked about all of it. Jessica said that she didn't know a Hunter or a Jason but that she too had been talking to someone, named Hyrum, that wouldn't meet her.
My sister and Jessica compared the phone numbers of Hunter and Hyrum and THEY MATCHED.
Here was Jessica's version of Hyrum/Hunter:

• Grew up in El Paso, TX
• Went to BYU
• Lived at THE VILLAGE (yes, a block away from me)
• Worked at the MTC
• Served a mission to Boise, ID
• Had completely different siblings than what he told me. I don't remember what story Jessica got. You'll understand why later.
• She had gotten the same pictures of the same guy though:

Hyrum

So naturally, I was SO mad. Jessica told Marissa that her and Hyrum would talk for hours on the phone...like the same nights that Hunter and I would talk. Apparently they were really close and talked all the time which was fascinating to me because Hunter and I did the same thing and definitely talked for hours each night as well. I knew that there was something fishy going on with Hunter but I didn't expect him to have formed super close relationships with other people or to have a completely different name.

It wasn't that I was jealous of Jessica, I was just mad and confused because he talked to me all the time and had lied to me about her and his relationship to her. He also talked to me for HOURS every day and never replied unusually late to a text so I was literally just mind-blown at how he could be dedicating that amount of time to TWO people. Bottom line, he lied. And I was NOT ok with that.

I waited until that night to confront Hunter and when I confronted him at first, he denied it all but then he finally broke down and admitted he lied to me. But he still maintained that "everything [he] had told me was true. Just not the name". HA like I would believe that.

He said that Hunter was his middle name and he hadn't lied, he just wanted to be called Hunter now. He also told me that he "had talked to his bishop about it and [his] bishop told him to repent, not do it again but it was ok".

I had some choice words with him, called him a coward and let out MONTHS of bottled anger towards this person and then didn't talk to him anymore. He tried to contact me but I was over it. It was difficult to just get over this because he knew literally everything about me. It didn't seem fair that he knew everything about me and I didn't know a single thing about him. It wasn't just weird or upsetting, it was wrong. I felt so violated. But I just told myself to get over it and move on. So I did...but I always still wondered who he was and what he wanted with me. I couldn't just forget about all of that.

June 13th, 2014

He called me. This was strange because he would usually just text me if he wanted something. I answered: "Hello?" He said: "Hil, I'll do anything I can to get you back. Tell me what it will take. I'll do anything."
For the first time, I didn't completely write him off and hang up. This was one of those moments where you remember everything. Where you were sitting, what you were looking at, what time of day it was, etc. I don't know what happened or what it was but in this moment, something clicked, there was something telling me that I needed to tell him what he wanted to hear so that I could find out who he was. (Looking back on it now, I know exactly why-I was supposed to help close wounds for all of these girls that I would find out about soon.) It seemed like I waited for a good 5 minutes without saying anything to him and maybe it was quite a while because I was brought back to reality by him saying: "Are you there?"
"Yeah, I'm here. And I want you back in my life too". It was that simple. That's all I had to say and just like that, he was back in my life. Little did he know that it was my turn to do the lying- I was going to be an insider to the investigation of the identity of Hunter/Hyrum.
Just like I said above, I'm a TERRIBLE liar. Like I can't do it. But I think I was SO focused and passionate about finding out who he was that I just did it. Every single day I thought that there was no way that I could do this for a hobby like he did. It was hard and NOT fun.

Let the Investigation Begin

June 21st, 2014

I didn't have much to start with. I had deleted a lot of valuable information Hyrum had given me when I ended everything in April. So I tried to inconspicuously get some of this information back but, no surprise to anyone, I was bad at being super casual about this stuff so I just kind of didn't ask much.
But I did have one source...Jessica.
I messaged Jessica and asked her if she had any more information about Hyrum. She said she didn't really have much but that a girl named Sara had contacted her about the same thing. YES! So I asked for Sara's contact info and she gave me her name so I could message her on FaceBook.
I found Sara and sent her a message. It was like Hyrum knew too because he started talking to me about Sara shortly after this. He really liked her and he was devastated that they didn't work out.

July 10th,  2014

I still hadn't heard anything from Sara and I was pretty bummed. It was nearly impossible to get info on my own.
I had done reverse phone searches, reverse image searches, tried to track his IP address via email. Everything I could do without being questioned by the FBI, I did. And NOTHING. This guy was good.
So I added Sara as a friend on FaceBook to get her attention and try one more time. She messaged me back! Here's our conversation:

She said she'd call me later that day. I remember how anxious I was that entire day. I was doing my internship and we were on a cruise with the summer leadership babies and all I could think about was when Sara would call. That cruise seemed like it took lightyears (but it was super fun, don't get me wrong).
Shoutout to Emily P for being my confidant during this whole thing. If I didn't have her to tell all of this to, I would have gone nuts at work. Best buddy ever.
We finally hit land and I peaced out of there real quick. Sara called me shortly thereafter and we talked for FOUR hours. She told me her story and I told her mine. This isn't my place to talk about Sara's story but the gist of it is that her Hyrum was similar to Jessica's Hyrum. Sara had been talking to Hryum on and off for about 3 years. Since the endish of 2011.
She had been trying to figure out who this person was for awhile too so we agreed to team up and figure out who we had been talking to.
We had a few leads:

• We both had received Edible Arrangements from Hyrum on the same day in February, the 5th. 
• Sara had written and emailed Hyrum on his mission to Boise in 2011-2012. He then insisted on writing her letters after he got sent home when he hurt his knee.
• He had two Twitters: hyoungin32 and hyrumtx08- both deactivated but both linked us to people he had been talking to.

So I decided to call Edible Arrangements and search the Twitter and Sara decided to dig up the letters and emails and join me in contacting people via Twitter.

Meanwhile Hyrum had called me like 10 times during my conversation with Sara and he was pissed that I was ignoring him. So I had to talk to him and pretend like I was actually interested in what he was saying. One of the main reasons that one of us needed to be an insider was so we could have his phone number at all times. I felt like he changed it a lot so one of us had to be on his good side so we could confront him when we found out who it was.

July 11th,  2014

I woke up and called Edible Arrangements in Provo. I told them that I knew it was a shot into the dark but that I was trying to find out information about someone who wouldn't leave me alone and I knew it was like 4 months later but I asked if they knew the sender on the Edible Arrangement to Sara and I on February 5th. She looked it up and told me the sender was: "Kayla O from El Paso, TX". (I'll use O as Kayla's last name).

WHAT. Who the heck was that? And why was some chick helping Hyrum in his scheme?? This seemed messed up.

I called Sara right away and told her the news. She said the name was familiar and they corresponded to the name of someone from Hyrum's mission. Apparently whenever Sara would write letters or email "Elder Young", she would have to address them to Sister O for letters and put "Elder Young" on the back or kayla.o@myldsmail.net for emails.

Email to Sara from Elder Young

Apparently she was the mail woman and would pass the mail on to Hyrum.

Ok so who was this woman? Someone from his mission that was in on his little joke? It was way weird but obviously this woman was somehow involved if she was sending us Edible Arrangements.

It didn't really make sense. So we continued to search.

Twitter...We contacted quite a few girls that we found on his Twitter. 4 to be exact. They had all talked to Hyrum off Twitter as well. Again, I'm not going to dive into their stories but most of them had similar relationships. Most went to BYU and all lived in Utah and were LDS. They all knew that this guy was sketchy as well and were interested in finding out who it was but didn't really have a whole lot of helpful information to give us.

But these 4 girls put our number up to 6. SIX?! That's insane, right? As Sara and I found out more and more about this person, we honestly began to think that our lives were part of a new movie or reality show. It was such a joke.

July 11th-16th, 2014

Speaking of reality TV shows, Catfish actually contacted me during this investigation to see if we wanted to be on the show. My roommate at the time wrote up my story and sent in an application pretending to be me. So they emailed me:

They called me at work one day and interviewed me and then asked for Hyrum's number so they could see if he were interested. I gave it to them but was scared to death because I knew he'd FLIP. So I hurried and called him as soon as the interview was over. I explained the situation and turned it into "Oh my gosh! This would be so awesome to actually be able to meet and have it paid for and a couple of dates paid for, it would be so nice!" And...HE BOUGHT IT! He was like actually semi-on-board. This was super surprising to me because I thought he would freak out- he typically did anytime I mentioned us meeting. But no, he was like "Yeah, that would be cool. I'll think about it"

Well he must have told the producers a different story because they never got back to me. But it was fine, we didn't need professionals.

Sara and I continued to search on our own. We went back to the letters and she found one from after Hyrum went home from his mission. It had an address from El Paso. I thought this had to be his house so I looked it up online in the White Pages to see which residents lived there. It said there were 3 residents: 1 person that didn't look familiar to either of us, 1 person with the same name as Hyrum's mom and Kayla O.

So Kayla was now not only the mission mail woman but went home to be Hyrum's personal mail woman? Mmmm...something didn't add up here but this Kayla woman was definitely involved.

We thought that maybe this person was his cousin? Maybe his sister if she was living with his mom...but we were still pretty unsure.

If this Kayla O name had pointed to a male, we probably would have came to the conclusion that he was "Hyrum". But it didn't make sense because the voice on the phone was for sure a male.

We continued our search. We looked up the woman that lived with Kayla and had the same name as Hyrum's mom on Facebook. We didn't find a woman that looked like she fit the profile but we did find someone with that name, living in El Paso. So we stalked this woman. And then we saw it...she had a profile picture with her dog, Candy.

That was it! Hyrum had called Sara and I both earlier in the year to tell us that his dog, Candy had died. He always talked about his dog and how much he loved her. It was too unique and specific, clearly Hyrum lived in this woman's house.

Then we found the smoking gun...Sara's friend from back home that had served in the Boise mission the same time as Kayla and Hyrum. We'll call her Aly. Sara contacted her on Facebook:

Our minds were blown. KAYLA WENT HOME CAUSE SHE HURT HER KNEE?! Isn't that a coincidence. Now this was getting freaky. We thought even more so that Kayla and Hyrum were the same person. But the voice...it didn't make sense!

Sara asked Aly for a link to Kayla's FaceBook and it took a while but we got it (she's taken it down since then). And what we found solidified all of our suspicions.

Kayla's Profile Picture

Kayla's "likes" on Facebook

Kayla O was Hyrum Young. There was absolutely no denying it. Everything that she had "liked" on FaceBook were things Hyrum talked to us about on a daily basis. These things were too specific and too accurate to have any other explanation. BUT THE VOICE.

It still didn't make sense but Sara and I just guessed that it was a voice changer. So this was it. We had to confront Hyrum.

July 16, 2014

I called Sara and we mentally prepared ourselves for what was about to happen. Then we did it, we called Hyrum. He answered and we said "Is this Kayla O?" The voice responded, "Yes".

That was another one of those moments that I'll never forget. I don't even remember what she said or what we said. I just remember being dumbfounded. And SO frustrated.
I think we hung up with her and then Sara called me back and we talked. We actually cried. Like kind of a lot. Not because we were so heartbroken, that wasn't it at all. It was because we were so frustrated.
How could someone do that to another person? What had we done to deserve being lied to and manipulated like that? How did we trust someone who lied to us about their name, ethnicity, family, everything!? How do I trust myself after that? After believing such an elaborate lie? We both considered this person to be one of our best friends at one point. We were completely honest and open about everything and in return, all we got was a slap in the face.
People don't understand this. We've been criticized so much for the relationship we had with this person but no one gets it. It wasn't about being in love, because we weren't. It was about being hurt by someone really close to you. No one would understand this unless you were in the situation and I don't expect you to, I just expect you to be understanding of what it felt like for us to be betrayed by someone we trusted.

July 17, 2014

I texted Kayla and asked her for the names of the guys whose pictures she had used. She told me one of them was Keegan and the other was her friend from back home. She sent a video along with it where he said something along the lines of "Kayla told me what she did and it was wrong but I forgive her and I would like to be left alone. Please respect my privacy".

Kayla tells me that one of the guys is Keegan and sends a video of the other guy.

What person in their right mind would be ok with some chick using their pictures, not only of them but of their family and friends as well, for over 3 years pretending to be them?!? I'm convinced that he is not aware of the full extent of this scheme. I've actually heard from this guy but I leave him as part of my story to warn people that even your "friends" can steal your pictures/videos/etc. and do with them as they please. Anything you post online is free game.


July 18, 2014
In typical Kayla/Hyrum style, she/he wouldn't leave us alone after that. I'll refer to this person as the male version but just know that it's Kayla. Here's what she said:

My initial reaction to all of this was to feel bad for her. Clearly this person needed help and I am one of those people who needs to be helping someone to feel good about myself. So I asked her if she was ok and tried to figure out why she did this.

Really the only explanation that I got was that "in the midst of figuring my own sh*& out, I got other people involved". She came out and said that she was lesbian and explained how difficult it had been to be gay in the church.

Here's the one and only comment I'm going to make on this:
We all have our trials. I truly am genuinely sorry that she had and still has to go through that. I can't even imagine. However, what she did was wrong and in the situation that she was in with me and all of the other girls, I don't feel any drop of sympathy for her at all.
The "catfish" situation had nothing to do with the church or being gay or any of that. It had to do with her poor choices and actions. Lying and deceiving all of us wasn't a consequence of being a gay member of the church, she CHOSE that for herself. She chose to wake up each and every morning and talk to us for 3 years.

She kept calling and kept trying to explain but I finally realized that any answer that she provided wasn't cutting it for me. I would never get an answer that would make me feel good about things or close a door for me. So we stopped talking. She would email me or call and I just ignored her.

August 2014

TGFS. Thank Goodness For Sara. If I didn't have her, I would be crazy. Shoutout to Kayla for catfishing both of us rather than just one. We needed each other. We did a lot of talking and were really a source of strength for each other. We still didn't know how to move past doubting ourselves and our ability to discern people but we did a lot of talking and decided that we needed to: 1. Put an end to Hyrum Young and 2. Move on

Putting an End to Hyrum and Moving On

Obviously we wanted to take legal action against Kayla when we found out what was going on. So we called BYU police since she was targeting BYU girls and asked what could be done. It took them a few days but they got back to us...nothing.

Because we were not in the state of Texas with Kayla, nothing could be done. There were absolutely no federal laws to reprimand actions such as these. But we could get a no-contact order. That was incredibly disheartening. Maybe I still have the teenage complex but I'm not afraid of her. She's never scared me so a no-contact order didn't make me feel any better. And that wasn't the point. Our goal was to make her stop doing this to people and make her have consequences for her actions but we couldn't do that.

We called her church leaders to try to get justice there but every avenue we took ended with the same response: just move on.
Move on? Yes. We would love to. We would love to pretend like this didn't happen and just keep going with life but it did happen and spending all of this time figuring this mess out to do nothing felt wrong. Very wrong.
But to some extent, they were right. We needed to just move on. It wasn't our place to make Kayla pay or give her consequences for her actions. So that's exactly what we did, we moved on.

We filed no contact orders with Kayla, she signed them and we didn't hear from her. That was that.

Finding Whitley

January 28, 2015

It was just another normal day at work and I was browsing through my TimeHop app and saw this:

So this was weird…I definitely didn’t even know Hyrum even existed on January 28, 2013. He wouldn’t come into my life for another 11 months! But apparently he tweeted at me that day and I just casually tweeted back at him without knowing who he was at all.

So obviously I had to investigate. I didn’t even know he had another Twitter! So I stalked. And similar to the first one, I found a lot of girls that he had been talking to. One in particular named Whitley who asked something in like January of 2014 like “Does anyone know who @hyoungin32 is?” So I tweeted her back, “I do! Follow me and I’ll tell you the story”. She followed me and I messaged her to ask if she was still talking to him. She said that she had stopped talking to him 2 weeks ago but she knew it was just a matter of time before he started again. I gave her my number and we met up to compare stories.

I was obviously freaking out because Kayla was STILL doing it! I was SO frustrated. I had moved on from all of this and let this all go nearly 5 months ago and now I find out that the exact thing I feared, was actually happening.

This might sound weird to some of you but after meeting Whitley, I knew I had to go public with this. I knew that there was a reason that I had found Whitley, I don’t believe in coincidences. If there was one girl that was still affected by this that I had stumbled upon, there were more. I had watched some of the girls suffer tremendously over finding out about Kayla and realizing the humiliation and hurt and I would not let this perpetuate. I knew that there was a reason that I had found out about all of this and it wasn’t for my own closure, it was so that I could find the other girls being deceived and so I could prevent this from happening in the future. I knew that night that I wasn’t letting this go again and that I would do whatever it took to be heard.

January 29, 2015

Whitley came over, we compared stories, I told her the truth and then I listened as she confronted Kayla. For all of you haters who called us stupid for not knowing by the voice that we were talking to a girl, take a listen to this and tell me that you too wouldn’t have thought it was a guy:

Be honest with yourself, did you think that was a girl? Maybe if you try really hard, you can hear it…kind of. But you would never assume that right off the bat. That’s also a glimpse into the manipulation and lies that we heard from her. She always turned it around and always made herself the victim.

January 30, 2015

This is when I wrote the article to the Daily Universe. This was super hard for me. Sara and I had just tried to hide all of this and it wasn't a story that we were proud of but my determination to stop Kayla far outweighed any embarrassment or humiliation that I could have experienced. I thought they might think I’m crazy but thankfully, Jenna and Bret heard our story and were interested.

February-March 17, 2015

I messaged every single girl involved in this mess and asked them to share their story. Whitley, Kelsey and I were the only ones who decided to share which made me super nervous but I pretty much told them everything and on March 17, we had a story and LOTS of interest and unbelief.

Here’s the story in case you didn’t see it:

http://universe.byu.edu/2015/03/17/beneath-the-surface-part-i/

March 18, 2015

I never really knew how news stations picked up their stories. Like how did they get ahold of the people involved? Well today, my question was answered: Facebook.

I had a message on Facebook from KUTV by the afternoon of March 17. KSL followed this (March 18th) morning and then FOX13 later today. 

I honestly felt like I needed a manager. News stations are intense! They were all fighting over interviewing us first and getting our story out there first and it was REALLY overwhelming.

Deciding to do this was super tough. Now my face would be associated with this story. Before, in the Universe, the scope was only BYU but now this would be the entire state of Utah! I was really really scared to do this and honestly, I didn’t want to.

March 19, 2015

However, Whitley, Sara and I talked about it and this was exactly what our goal was: get the word out and make people aware. What better way to do that then put it on the news for everyone to see? But it wasn’t that easy. I was so nervous about who might see me and what they might say. I knew that people would just think that we were stupid girls that fell for something so ridiculous. That wasn’t what was happening at all but unfortunately, I think that’s how it might have been portrayed in these stories:

KUTV: http://www.kutv.com/news/features/top-stories/stories/Female-catfishes-at-least-8-girls-in-Provo-105051.shtml#.VS2lURPF8Yd

FOX13: http://fox13now.com/2015/03/19/byu-students-compare-notes-on-significant-others-discover-woman-carrying-out-catfishing-scam/

Cosmopolitan: https://fltr8.byu.edu/B0001D0000N0000N0000F0000S0000R0004/10.24.12.80/http://www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/news/a38142/eight-byu-students-got-catfished-by-a-woman-pretending-to-be-a-mormon-man/

NY Daily: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/byu-female-students-victimized-serial-catfish-article-1.2157903

Through all of the media, we were able to find 6 more girls. Which brought our grand total to TWELVE. 12 girls had been catfished by Kayla. Reaching out to the media had helped us find other girls that this had happened to but as I watched our story on the news, I wanted to cry. I thought they did a decent job with relaying our story due to the time constraint but I could only imagine the comments that would come in because we were misrepresented as having “dated”, “been in a relationship with” and “fell in love with” Hyrum/Hunter/Kayla.

And just as I had thought, the negative, mean and outright unnecessary comments started pouring in on the FOX13 Facebook page. I read some of them and was paralyzed. How could people be so mean? They were saying that we were just stupid Mormon girls and making fun of us.

It really did hurt and my heart sank. I went to bed that night and just laid there. Was I really stupid? Was I stupid for putting my story out there and setting myself up for this? Did I really need to be doing this or was it just a hopeless cause?

If I didn’t have my friends and family, I would be destroyed. Without their pep talks and support, I honestly would not have made it through all of the criticism and flat out MEAN people. Most of you reading this are the ones that actually care about and support me and from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Each one of you that has said something to me about this situation has lifted my spirit and touched my heart. I can never say “thank you” enough.

With this support, I’ve surprisingly been able to remain really really strong. I stopped reading all of the negative comments and stopped listening to the discouraging voices in my head and trusted in myself. I WAS doing this for the right reasons, I knew in my heart why I was doing this and I knew in my heart that it was to help other people and I was allowing myself to be an instrument for something really good. I knew that I wasn’t stupid, I (along with Sara) found all of this out!! Out of all of these girls, I’m the one who was blessed and determined enough to not stop until I found out who it was. I was brave.

It’s funny how during the most trying time of my life, I have never felt more sure and confident in anything. I honestly haven’t shed a single tear over any of this. There have been some really mean things said but because I know that I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing and doing what’s right, I’ve been able to not let any of the haters shake me.

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you’ll be criticized anyway” —Eleanor Roosevelt.

In these kinds of situations, you have to believe in yourself and believe in your cause or you will be destroyed. People make so many judgments when they don’t know the whole story and when they don’t know your intentions. I know my intentions and God knows my intentions and at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.

Today

That’s my story. I left out a few details but that’s the gist of it. I’m not ashamed or embarrassed. I know that everything happens for a reason and I know that this awful thing that happened to me has made me stronger and more able to help others.

Here are some other questions that I want to answer that I get asked frequently:

How do you respond when someone bashes on the church or BYU because all of you fell for this scheme and were Mormon?

All of us didn’t go to BYU. But yes, all of us are LDS. Do I think it’s because we’re all naive mormon girls? No. How can someone say that it’s due to our naivety and religion when there are no other samples to test that theory? Kayla had a specific group of girls in mind that she wanted to do this to- LDS girls. Religion was important to her and so she only targeted members of our church. So yes, we all had that in common but it’s inaccurate to attribute this situation to the only thing all of us have in common because there were no other sources on which to test that theory. Kayla didn’t talk to girls not of our religion. She had a specific target segment and did not stray from that.

How do you feel towards Kayla?

I feel sorry for her. What a sad life to live. When she told me who she was, I asked her why she had to pretend to be someone else- she had a great personality and she was funny, smart and witty. If she had just approached this situation looking for friends as herself, I would have definitely been her friend. We could have been great friends if she had told the truth and been herself.

I really do hope that she gets help and I hope that she gains some self confidence. I also hope that she stops doing this someday so that I can fully forgive her.

Do you trust people?

I do. Unfortunately, this has made me into a person that doesn't give trust away easily but I also believe that one person's mistakes should not make me into a person that will project those mistakes onto everyone else. So yes, people will have to prove themselves to me but I haven't given up on humanity because of this situation.

CyberIQ

This project has been incredible. When Devin presented this project to me over a year ago, I had no idea how much it would mean to me. I don't believe in coincidences and this project was meant to come into my life so that I could turn something negative into a positive take away.

If you have kids or friends or grandchildren, send them this link:

www.cyberiq.org

Have them learn to be safe online. It is well worth their time and energy. Thank you to everyone who has helped with this project.

Dr. Phil

I finally had the opportunity to sit face to face with Kayla. I had so many thoughts as to how that moment would go but never did I imagine that I would feel the way I did. I thought it might fill me with rage or maybe I would applaud her but instead, I teared up. As the person who had caused me and my soul sisters so much hurt walked toward me, all I could do was feel sorrow in my heart for her.

It surprised me. I didn't imagine I would feel that way at all. If Kayla is reading this, I want to say that I'm sorry for what I did to hurt you. My intentions were never to "make you pay" or have you hurt like we did but along the way, the media definitely took it farther than I had intended and despite my efforts to prevent your identity from being fully exposed, it was. I hope you can forgive all of us for that.

I am such a stronger person from this. I have learned things that I never would have otherwise. I have met some of the most beautiful people I will ever encounter in life and have shared a bond unlike any other.

From left to right: Kelsey, Sara, me, Dr. Phil, Whitley, Tori, Megan and McKenzie. 5 of the girls chose not to come on the show.

I wish the very best for Kayla. I hope she has grown and learned just as much as I have. I hope that she finds true happiness within herself.

Just as a very wise man once told me, "It's either time to turn the page or close the book". I am so excited to finally be able to close the book on this chapter of my life. 

"Forgiveness is a choice that you make. It's not a feeling. You don't wake up one morning and say 'Wow I finally forgave this person'. It's a conscious choice." 

I am choosing to forgive you, Kayla. 

Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn. I learned more than I could ever express in writing and I hope that you all have learned something from this as well.

XOXO -Hilary

To read Whitley's story, visit: https://keepyouclose.wordpress.com/2015/03/30/a-lot-to-write/

To read Megan's story, visit: http://megandee.blogspot.com/2015/04/faq-coeds-catfish.html